Redirecting Behavior - Dog Aggressive - Page 2

ZeldasMom · 10-29-2009, 05:27 PM

It's not a money issue. She has tons of that. She is just head-strong and independent. They both believe the minute she goes into a home she will die. Plus she has a Dobie that she can't bring with her. NILIF starts again tonight. I'd rather be tired from him whining all night then to be injured badly one of these days. I know he's confused and that hurts because I'm the one causing this. I hate it.

jinxxycat · 10-29-2009, 06:58 PM

What about having her go home and with a live in nurse or someone that comes over and takes care of her, if money is not a problem???

mstngchic2012 · 10-29-2009, 07:00 PM

I don't really know anything about training except very basic OB so I can't help you there. But what about assisted living for you MIL... she won't be confined to her room, they have tons of activities and socials, and someone just pops by to see if she needs help with anything (cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc.). My great-grandmother and great-grandfather lived in an assisted living community and my great-grandmother LOVED it! She went to all the socials and activities. However, my great-grandfather hated it but he was a tough old goat and very bullheaded.

Zoes_Mom · 10-29-2009, 08:21 PM

My Mother did Live in work for many years for the elderly. She was there 24 hrs. and did everything. She took them to the doctors, made their food, did laundry, took them out shopping, to the park , to the movies. She even did entertaining for them so friends could come over. Maybe it could be something you could look into. That way she could stay at home where she is comfortable and still be safe and looked after.

mstngchic2012 · 10-29-2009, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zoes_Mom

My Mother did Live in work for many years for the elderly. She was there 24 hrs. and did everything. She took them to the doctors, made their food, did laundry, took them out shopping, to the park , to the movies. She even did entertaining for them so friends could come over. Maybe it could be something you could look into. That way she could stay at home where she is comfortable and still be safe and looked after.

My future MIL is a home care giver too. She does the night shift with an elderly woman who has dementia. She loves doing home care! That could be another option for you MIL, ZeldasMom.

SisMorphine · 10-30-2009, 10:11 AM

I think that re-introducing the GL for walking will be your best bet as that way you have control over his head (and even on my bad days where I can't hold onto a leash very tight I can still control a 100 pound dog on a GL). Had you picked up the GL yourself or did the trainer you used fit it and teach you how to properly use it?

And I agree with doing intense NILIF, and maybe for a while anytime he is out of his crate he is on his GL and attached to a human being via leash. If you can't do that then at least have him drag a 6ft leash around so that if he does start to go into crazy mode you already have the leash on him.

You said your MIL has a Dobie? Are they getting along or do you have to rotate them out?

ZeldasMom · 10-30-2009, 11:26 AM

Sorry I did not get on last night, but it was crazy in our house. As soon as I got home, Dex immediately started to jump on me, so I shut the door and waited for DH to put him in a down/wait position before entering the house. It took about seven minute before I could finally come in. As soon as I got in I put the leash on Dex and made him wear it all night. While we were eating Zelda heard something outside and barked, which caused Dex to jump up and go after her. He was in a very relaxed state when this happened. We immediately gave our command (not yelling either) and he came back to us, so we grabbed the leash and kept him close until we got Zelda back in the room into a down position. She listens good. However, DH's mother kept trying to shout commands at Dex and Zelda and I told her NOT to do it anymore.

About an hour later when everything was calm and good, DH's mother starting her yelling across the room again and spoked Dex but he didn't go off as bad as before. Still had the leash on him. DH told his mother to stop the yelling again and she got pissed and went off. I mean for 30 mins those two were going back and forth. I never noticed it before but it was almost as if Dex was either scared of in protective mode. He attempted to go after Zelda but stopped and came to me and was sitting next to me with his ears pulled back. They were yelling loudly (even with the doors closed and TV turned up) and when it got very escalated, Dex would standup, in front of me, as if he was being protective. I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking that and he's not being protective at all.

We made him sleep on the floor all night (and he cried from 10pm-1am and again 3am-6am). We got no sleep, but he was a much better dog this morning.

To all of you who have recommended home health care aide, sitters or assisted-living. She will do none of those. We've tried and it's a resounding NOOOO!

And her Dobie is not at our house. I think Dex would literally try to kill her. He hates all living creatures, except Zelda. I'm only assuming that of course.

Dodo & Bull · 10-30-2009, 11:39 AM

You know if she stays there your couple going to go down the drain...

the way i see it there s going to be alot of fighting in your home..not much fun..

man i hurt for you having to go threw this..

ZeldasMom · 10-30-2009, 11:57 AM

My faith is very strong and I won't allow MIL to bring me down. I know she does a lot of things to get DH's attention. That's her baby! She has two other adult children and hasn't spoken to them in 15 years, so he is all she has. She very ungrateful. But on the other hand, does have a very caring side to her. I guess caring and ungrateful are two separate things.

DH and I have been trying to conceive a baby and we think that we haven't succeeded yet because of all the stress he's under. Not to mention, it's just unhealthy with him have to clean up after her bowel movements, etc.

If I didn't mention, he's only 34 and I just turned 35. Maybe it would be easier to deal with if we were older and already had kids, but all we have is our fur babies.

I know whatever God puts me through, he will also pull me through. Or at least that's my hope!

**maryellen** · 10-30-2009, 12:11 PM

your situation is only going to get worse if your MIL doesnt settle down.. is there any way you both can sit and try to reason and talk to her? honestly, this situation isnt good for you, your husband or the dogs.. the stress in your house right now is putting a huge strain on everyone, including the dogs

10-29-2009, 06:58 PM	#12 (permalink)
jinxxycat Senior Member Distinguished Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 4,630	What about having her go home and with a live in nurse or someone that comes over and takes care of her, if money is not a problem??? __________________

10-29-2009, 07:00 PM	#13 (permalink)
mstngchic2012 Senior Member Distinguished Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Indiana - Hoosier State Posts: 2,472	I don't really know anything about training except very basic OB so I can't help you there. But what about assisted living for you MIL... she won't be confined to her room, they have tons of activities and socials, and someone just pops by to see if she needs help with anything (cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc.). My great-grandmother and great-grandfather lived in an assisted living community and my great-grandmother LOVED it! She went to all the socials and activities. However, my great-grandfather hated it but he was a tough old goat and very bullheaded. __________________ If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. ~Phil Pastore

10-29-2009, 08:21 PM	#14 (permalink)
Zoes_Mom Senior Member Familiar Face Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Ca Posts: 201	My Mother did Live in work for many years for the elderly. She was there 24 hrs. and did everything. She took them to the doctors, made their food, did laundry, took them out shopping, to the park , to the movies. She even did entertaining for them so friends could come over. Maybe it could be something you could look into. That way she could stay at home where she is comfortable and still be safe and looked after. __________________

10-30-2009, 10:11 AM	#16 (permalink)
SisMorphine Senior Member Distinguished Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 1,716	I think that re-introducing the GL for walking will be your best bet as that way you have control over his head (and even on my bad days where I can't hold onto a leash very tight I can still control a 100 pound dog on a GL). Had you picked up the GL yourself or did the trainer you used fit it and teach you how to properly use it? And I agree with doing intense NILIF, and maybe for a while anytime he is out of his crate he is on his GL and attached to a human being via leash. If you can't do that then at least have him drag a 6ft leash around so that if he does start to go into crazy mode you already have the leash on him. You said your MIL has a Dobie? Are they getting along or do you have to rotate them out? __________________ Thanks for the banner Angie7349!

10-30-2009, 12:11 PM	#20 (permalink)
maryellen Agent Squint Distinguished Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Northern NJ Posts: 2,709	your situation is only going to get worse if your MIL doesnt settle down.. is there any way you both can sit and try to reason and talk to her? honestly, this situation isnt good for you, your husband or the dogs.. the stress in your house right now is putting a huge strain on everyone, including the dogs __________________ Rufus

10-29-2009, 05:27 PM	#11 (permalink)
ZeldasMom Senior Member Advanced Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 418	It's not a money issue. She has tons of that. She is just head-strong and independent. They both believe the minute she goes into a home she will die. Plus she has a Dobie that she can't bring with her. NILIF starts again tonight. I'd rather be tired from him whining all night then to be injured badly one of these days. I know he's confused and that hurts because I'm the one causing this. I hate it.

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10-30-2009, 11:26 AM	#17 (permalink)
ZeldasMom Senior Member Advanced Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 418	Sorry I did not get on last night, but it was crazy in our house. As soon as I got home, Dex immediately started to jump on me, so I shut the door and waited for DH to put him in a down/wait position before entering the house. It took about seven minute before I could finally come in. As soon as I got in I put the leash on Dex and made him wear it all night. While we were eating Zelda heard something outside and barked, which caused Dex to jump up and go after her. He was in a very relaxed state when this happened. We immediately gave our command (not yelling either) and he came back to us, so we grabbed the leash and kept him close until we got Zelda back in the room into a down position. She listens good. However, DH's mother kept trying to shout commands at Dex and Zelda and I told her NOT to do it anymore. About an hour later when everything was calm and good, DH's mother starting her yelling across the room again and spoked Dex but he didn't go off as bad as before. Still had the leash on him. DH told his mother to stop the yelling again and she got pissed and went off. I mean for 30 mins those two were going back and forth. I never noticed it before but it was almost as if Dex was either scared of in protective mode. He attempted to go after Zelda but stopped and came to me and was sitting next to me with his ears pulled back. They were yelling loudly (even with the doors closed and TV turned up) and when it got very escalated, Dex would standup, in front of me, as if he was being protective. I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking that and he's not being protective at all. We made him sleep on the floor all night (and he cried from 10pm-1am and again 3am-6am). We got no sleep, but he was a much better dog this morning. To all of you who have recommended home health care aide, sitters or assisted-living. She will do none of those. We've tried and it's a resounding NOOOO! And her Dobie is not at our house. I think Dex would literally try to kill her. He hates all living creatures, except Zelda. I'm only assuming that of course.

10-30-2009, 11:39 AM	#18 (permalink)
Dodo & Bull Senior Member Distinguished Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North of Montreal, Quebec Posts: 4,568	You know if she stays there your couple going to go down the drain... the way i see it there s going to be alot of fighting in your home..not much fun.. man i hurt for you having to go threw this..

10-30-2009, 11:57 AM	#19 (permalink)
ZeldasMom Senior Member Advanced Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 418	My faith is very strong and I won't allow MIL to bring me down. I know she does a lot of things to get DH's attention. That's her baby! She has two other adult children and hasn't spoken to them in 15 years, so he is all she has. She very ungrateful. But on the other hand, does have a very caring side to her. I guess caring and ungrateful are two separate things. DH and I have been trying to conceive a baby and we think that we haven't succeeded yet because of all the stress he's under. Not to mention, it's just unhealthy with him have to clean up after her bowel movements, etc. If I didn't mention, he's only 34 and I just turned 35. Maybe it would be easier to deal with if we were older and already had kids, but all we have is our fur babies. I know whatever God puts me through, he will also pull me through. Or at least that's my hope!