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Pit Bulls Debunked - An essay describing the myths, falsehoods, and misperceptions of this wonderful breed.

50 reasons why dogs are better than men:


  • A dog gets a new coat every winter.
  • Dogs are not so careless about leaving puddles on the bathroom floor.
  • A dog is less likely to leave a filthy, stinking mess for you to clear up.
  • For a dog, a wet nose is a sign of GOOD health.
  • Men are even less useful for testing cosmetics on.
  • Dogs don't wolf-whistle.
  • A dog is far less irritation to have in the back seat of a car...
  • ...and will be less likely to show its rear end to the people in the vehicle behind for a laugh.
  • Elizabeth Hurley has a faithful dog whom she loves dearly.
  • If a dog says sausages, that's clever. If a man says sausages, that's just greedy.
  • Dogs will wait patiently outside clothes shops...
  • ...and not criticize your purchases afterwards.
  • A dog will fetch the morning paper for you.
  • Spots are an attractive feature on a dog.
  • A dog is better protection from intruders.
  • Dogs enjoy ball games. But they don't spend six hours on the phone trying o get tickets for France 98.
  • Dogs greet each other by sniffing bottoms. Men are far less polite.
  • Puppy love doesn't wear off so quickly with a dog.
  • You can be prosecuted for neglecting a dog.
  • Dogs can find their way back home - even after a really heavy night out.
  • Dogs can be trained not to lie on the bed. Men always lie in bed.
  • A dog can moult without becoming obsessed about premature baldness.
  • Dogs can be taught the meaning of the word "NO!"
  • A dog will trot faithfully round at your heel.
  • Dogs don't break wind in public and blame it on the man.
  • In the canine world, boxers are quite intelligent.
  • If a dog gets ill, it won't take eighteen Panadols in order to avoid having to go to the vet.
  • You can also ask the vet to perform the snip, even if the dog objects.
  • Small, ginger-haired dogs can be quite appealing. As for men? Two words. Robin Cook.
  • You can find a nice dog by advertising on a card in a shop window, or in the classified section of the local paper.
  • A woman can live with more than one dog, without rumours starting.
  • When dogs beg, it's cute. When men beg it's pathetic.
  • Dogs sometimes dig the garden.
  • A dog can go out fox-hunting without being incredibly stuck up and pompous.
  • Dogs don't necessarily prefer blondes.
  • Dogs won't get embarrassed if you call them by a pet name when their friends are around.
  • Dogs travel more cheaply on the bus.
  • Dogs whine less.
  • Some dogs can be quite talented at singing.
  • Men lost the World Cup. A dog found it.

  • Dogs are less reliant on tinned food...
  • ...but after a few cans, a dog will still be able to stand up.
  • And there are some things even a dog won't eat - like the remains of a three-day-old King Prawn vindaloo that they found on the floor behind the sofa.
  • You can leave a dog alone in your house without worrying so much about what it'll break.
  • There are still thousands of totally undomesticated dogs in Australia; but far more undomesticated men.
  • Your dog will never refer to you as 'a bitch'.
  • In disaster films, the dog is always far more likely to have a miraculous escape.
  • Dogs do not waste money betting on the dogs.
  • You can stop dogs getting too randy by throwing a bucket or water over them.
  • All the best clips on 'You've Been Framed' are the ones with dogs in.
  • If a dog starts worrying sheep, that's just its natural predatory instinct.

  • If a MAN starts worrying sheep, however...
  • A 'King Charles' is much more likely to be a big, floppy-eared dog than a big floppy-eared man.
  • You can also call a dog schitzu without offending it.
  • "Working like a dog" is strenuous. Working like a man is, er - not.
  • You can fondle your dog in the park without being arrested.
  • A dog will encourage you to lose weight by taking more exercise. A man will just remark on how big your bum looks.
  • Dogs do not attack other dogs for being a different colour.
  • Having a dog around the place can actually ease stress.
  • You'd feel guilty about turning a dog out on the street.
  • A dog can take a barrel of brandy to a lost mountaineer without drinking ANY.
  • There aren't so many good reasons to keep a dog muzzled in public.
  • You can buy a dog's affection with a squeaky toy.
  • A dog will be eager to walk, rather than getting a taxi.
  • Most dogs are really good with children.
  • Dogs have a highly-developed sense of smell. Men, on the other hand, can quite happily wear the same pair of pants for a fortnight.
  • A dog is more useful for tracking down criminals.
  • Who did YOU miss most from Blue Peter - John Noakes or Shep?

  • A dog might actually take a bath of its own accord.
  • There's more chance of your dog being able to operate the video recorder.
  • You can buy a choke-chain for a dog.
  • A 16-year-old dog is very mature.
  • A dog is easier to keep well-groomed.
  • Dogs have more chance of receiving an award for bravery.
  • Dogs are easier to house-train.
  • Dog do not scratch themselves so much in polite company.
  • A dog can look as though it understands what you're saying.
  • Dogs went into space first.
  • A man will roll over and play dead only if you ask him to get up and make coffee.
  • Dogs enjoy swimming, and not for the chance to ogle girls in bikinis.
  • Being a dog's mistress is no reason to feel ashamed.
  • You can keep your dog tied up if it starts misbehaving.
  • Saggy skin and a hang-dog look aren't half as appealing on a man.
  • You can train a dog in obedience.
  • A dog in a studded collar isn't kinky.
  • Few men would answer to 'Lassie'.
  • A dog is a pack animal. A man is a six-pack animal.
  • Dogs spend the day sniffing drugs only if they're with the police.
  • Dogs aren't obsessed with 'doing it man-fashion'.
  • A dog is a faithful companion.
  • A dog is for life.

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