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Birthday Suggestions? COMPLICATED

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irishman538

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Discussion starter · #1 ·
My wife's birthday is tomorrow... and like the tree said to the lumberjack, "I'm Stumped!" We have agreed to keep our birthdays small with starting up the firm and money, etc.

But here is the wrinkle and complication: her grandmother is on death watch (i.e., today, tomorrow, friday at the latest). So what do I do? Her grandmother has been very sick for a very long time (and in being sick her mind has gone too) so her passing will be in many respects a blessing for an end to her suffering. My wife understands this, but at the same time, is an emotional person... suggestions on how to handle appreciated.
 
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Discussion starter · #3 ·
Drakoshuman said:
That's a tough one Irish. Not much cause for celebration. Best thing you can do is be there. Other than that...Dunno...My best goes out to you and yours.
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Thank you for the thoughts....

That reminds me of the one problem I left out... with starting up the firm and having new clients (including a couple going to trial in less than a week), I can't fly out with her for the funeral! Funerals don't bother me, and, while I could go and probably not adversly effect my clients, I (and we) can't afford a screw up just starting out. what to do what to do...
 
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#4 ·
You can't ask for a postponement? I would think the courts would be sympathetic to you on this and having been the defendant on more than one occasion I'm sure your clients would be more than happy to push things back a bit. What to do? It's a tough call. Glad I don't have to make it but in my house it's family first.
 
#5 ·
As for a birthday gift - I really cant help you. Something low key?? Perhaps at night after the baby is put to bed, set up the table or a large platter all nice & decorated (candles & do da's) and smack in the middle is her favorite dessert then maybe a nice dessert wine????
If her grandmother should pass....if you couldnt make the funeral - would you be able to meet her the day/night before she flys back home? It would be nice if you could fly back with her. Even though you would be tired she would appriciate the gesture???
And anther thing - when my friends dad passed away, someone named a star after him for her. I thought that was the sweetest thing ever.
 
Discussion starter · #6 ·
tt557 said:
As for a birthday gift - I really cant help you. Something low key?? Perhaps at night after the baby is put to bed, set up the table or a large platter all nice & decorated (candles & do da's) and smack in the middle is her favorite dessert then maybe a nice dessert wine????
If her grandmother should pass....if you couldnt make the funeral - would you be able to meet her the day/night before she flys back home? It would be nice if you could fly back with her. Even though you would be tired she would appriciate the gesture???
And anther thing - when my friends dad passed away, someone named a star after him for her. I thought that was the sweetest thing ever.
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Those are some good thoughts - thank you!

Drakoshuman - I wish I could get a postponement, unfortunately the most pressing case is a civil contract dispute that already has a pending motion to postpone. However, the court has yet to act on that... I have tried to place some added pressure on the court to rule on it, but I don't think I can do anymore. We are on the same page with family first - to steal my old boss' motto, "Faith, family, friends, and only than firm." Unfortunately I can't force the court to move things...
 
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#7 ·
irishman538 said:
tt557 said:
As for a birthday gift - I really cant help you. Something low key?? Perhaps at night after the baby is put to bed, set up the table or a large platter all nice & decorated (candles & do da's) and smack in the middle is her favorite dessert then maybe a nice dessert wine????
If her grandmother should pass....if you couldnt make the funeral - would you be able to meet her the day/night before she flys back home? It would be nice if you could fly back with her. Even though you would be tired she would appriciate the gesture???
And anther thing - when my friends dad passed away, someone named a star after him for her. I thought that was the sweetest thing ever.
Click to expand...
Those are some good thoughts - thank you!

Drakoshuman - I wish I could get a postponement, unfortunately the most pressing case is a civil contract dispute that already has a pending motion to postpone. However, the court has yet to act on that... I have tried to place some added pressure on the court to rule on it, but I don't think I can do anymore. We are on the same page with family first - to steal my old boss' motto, "Faith, family, friends, and only than firm." Unfortunately I can't force the court to move things...
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Ahhh...The wheels of justice. I know all to well. Seems your heart and priorities are in the right place. I'm thinking it's all going to work out.
 
#11 ·
You seem like such a nice husband!! wahoo love it..
I like the idea of giving her something special to remind her of her grandmom? just the fact that you are very sensitive to all of this is a huge plus.
also I cut out little hearts and put a note on them and stick them in my husbands wallet..
When she goes to the funeral before she leaves you could do something similar telling her that although you are not with her physically you are there with her ... just an idea. you could sneak in her purse before she leaves..

as far as a gift... a day at the spa sounds like a great idea! she could use it when all this passes.

Good Luck with everything! :wink:
 
Discussion starter · #12 ·
thanks for the thoughts all - she passed peacefully at 8:22am pst after a very long life. Now I just need to decide how to best help her, and beg borrow and plead with a few different court clerks to get my cases bumped for week so I can get on the plane with her.

Thank you again everyone for taking the time to think through the issues with me and to give me some thoughts and advice. As always, it is much appreciated!

Kevin
 
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#17 ·
salemtrinity said:
Birthstone rings aren't too expensive at Walmart, perhaps you could get one with her grandmother's birthstone or even one with three- Grandmother, your wife's mother's, and your wife's-- in honor of three generations of strong women...
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That is such beautiful gift idea. I'm very sorry to hear about your wife's grandmother. My condolences to you, your wife, and her family.
 
#19 ·
Kevin, I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's grandmother. We just lost Dennis' grandmother in December, and the pain still feels fresh. Like your wife's grandmother, it was a blessing in disguise, she is no longer suffering, but we miss her tremendously.

I agree with a birthstone ring, make it a 4 generation, with Connor's birthstone in there too. Or, might I suggest a necklace? We got my MIL a grandkid's birthstone necklace for Mother's Day last year, and she wears it everyday.

My thoughts are with you and your wife through this difficult time.
 
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