[msvette2u]

but I know Nala -- and she's not going for any leash methods right off the bat

So who is in charge, her or you?? You're dooming her by this attitude. I would not give a rat's ass if my dog didn't "go for leash methods", they are A DOG and her life literally hangs in the balance from the sound of it. You need to take over and be in charge or this isn't going to work.

 

[yungster]

When they are asleep, I am awake.

So why not wake them up for the training lessons?

I wasn't writing to say that I COULDN'T, I was just saying it's something to keep in mind for people giving advice, because my schedule is NOT like a normal person's. I can't just up and go to PetsMart and expose Nala to new situations. I'm not about to go take a walk in the park after dark either. Training is fine at night, but not the socialization we spoke of about introducing her to new situations. I just want everyone to realize my schedule when they're giving advice, so it's something that works for me. Gotta keep your advice geared toward vampires. LOL

Also, some of you may be "dog people," meaning some of you train and work your dogs, some do it for a living -- it's a large part of your life. It's not for me. My dogs are very important and loved, but they rank lower in my priorities. I take care of my child first -- and I only see him on weekends now, so he is a huge focus in my free time. Any sleep I sacrifice is to meet HIS needs. Then I take care of my own needs. I will always place rest, recuperation and quiet time above training the dogs. I'm not sitting at a desk at work for 12 hours -- I'm on my feet taking care of sick, injured, bleeding, vomiting, pooping, crying, screaming, dying people. If I don't relax in my off time, I won't be much good for anything.

When I have taken care of myself, then I will take care of my dogs. My free time is very limited. I'm not saying I DON'T have time for training sessions, or that I won't, because I WILL! But again -- it's something to keep in mind when you're giving suggestions. I cannot over-extend myself to train a dog, I am too busy saving human lives and being a mom.

Do I think it's best that they were in a home where they could receive more attention? Absolutely. But about the same time I do that, I am viewed as some evil monster for giving up and not trying. I DO try to the best of my abilities... but the best of MY abilities, is just not the same as yours or someone else's. I will do all that I can for Nala. She is my baby, I rescued her, and she's my responsibility. I'm trying the hardest that I can with the circumstance I am given.

 

[yungster]

but I know Nala -- and she's not going for any leash methods right off the bat

So who is in charge, her or you?? You're dooming her by this attitude. I would not give a rat's ass if my dog didn't "go for leash methods", they are A DOG and her life literally hangs in the balance from the sound of it. You need to take over and be in charge or this isn't going to work.

msvette, that in no way implies that Nala is in charge. This implies that she is afraid of the leash. And forcing her to wear it, is not beneficial to anyone. I don't know about you, but I think it's much easier to train a calm, content dog, than it is to train one that is fighting, kicking and trying to escape with every fiber of their being. Common sense here, not a battle of "who's in charge." I said I WILL re-introduce Nala to the leash, but it's going to take TIME before she is comfortable enough to just leisurely walk beside me with it on.

 

[Roxy]

I really don't know what to say to what you wrote above, except I give up in wasting my time with you. I train my dogs as I owe it to them as a responsible owner, I need them to learn right from wrong.

Good luck or a miricle, because nothing will change.

 

[yungster]

I really don't know what to say to what you wrote above, except I give up in wasting my time with you. I train my dogs as I owe it to them as a responsible owner, I need them to learn right from wrong.

Good luck or a miricle, because nothing will change.

Nikki, I said I DO train my dogs, and I WILL, as they are my responsibility. I'm just saying that I don't have as much free time as most people. Many of you have spouses or family members or at least friends that can help you. If you're married, you take for granted that you probably have someone to help with your housework so that frees up some time to train your dogs. I don't have that luxury. It's just me here. I work 36-52 hrs per week, I sleep, I am a mom, housekeeper, cook, maid, etc. You have to understand MY lifestyle in order to give suggestions that work around my schedule. I am not trying to be difficult here, I'm being realistic and honest. This is what I have to work with, and I'm sorry you feel that's a waste of your time.

 

[Roxy]

I really don't know what to say to what you wrote above, except I give up in wasting my time with you. I train my dogs as I owe it to them as a responsible owner, I need them to learn right from wrong.

Good luck or a miricle, because nothing will change.

Nikki, I said I DO train my dogs, and I WILL, as they are my responsibility. I'm just saying that I don't have as much free time as most people. Many of you have spouses or family members or at least friends that can help you. If you're married, you take for granted that you probably have someone to help with your housework so that frees up some time to train your dogs. I don't have that luxury. It's just me here. I work 36-52 hrs per week, I sleep, I am a mom, housekeeper, cook, maid, etc. You have to understand MY lifestyle in order to give suggestions that work around my schedule. I am not trying to be difficult here, I'm being realistic and honest. This is what I have to work with, and I'm sorry you feel that's a waste of your time.

None of my family help me, I work 40 plus hours a week. I'm a mum of 3 children, 2 would never help, ones a baby so can't. Lfe aint a stroll for me. I'm divorced btw.

 

[yungster]

I wasn't saying YOU specifically, Nikki. I said "many of you" have spouses, significant others, family members, etc. I live alone. And that's great that you work 40 hrs/week and still find time to take care of your children and train your dogs. Unfortunately I am different. My time is very limited, and my job takes a lot out of me physically and emotionally. I hate to remind people since I try to be superwoman, but I do have a chronic illness that requires more rest than healthy people, and I work my ass off to keep up with the rest of the world. If you're able to do it, kudos to you. I'm very happy for you, I have a lot of respect for you, and I wish I had the energy you have. But again, this is the hand I am dealt, and I'm honestly trying the hardest I can. I love my dogs and can't imagine life without them. But no one else is paying my bills, unfortunately I can't take time off from work to train 3 pit bulls as much as I'd like. But I DO train them. Heaven is very obediant, so I must be doing something right. Koa is obediant, albeit stubborn. Nala is a ball of nerves, but I'm TRYING as hard as I can. I only ask that you gear your suggestions to things I can do at home in my spare time.

 

[Roxy]

Well, I have just got back from a small bedtime walk incoporated with some close work and a few halts too.

Just so you don't feel alone, I live in pain everyday, I have a hernia...I have also recently had two bone biospy, still waiting for reports and still in very much pain as the bone in my mouth is still showing. I really don't know how I could cope with out my dogs. I walk as much as I can to get away from the rigma roll of life , without them to help me break up my day and watch them run carefree and happy makes life a little bit easier to cope with.


Good night, this superwoman has yet another hectic day tomorrow. I have to open and get a shcool ready for 600 plus children ensuring they are all safe and secure.

 

[Family of 5]

I wasn't saying YOU specifically, Nikki. I said "many of you" have spouses, significant others, family members, etc. I live alone. And that's great that you work 40 hrs/week and still find time to take care of your children and train your dogs. Unfortunately I am different. My time is very limited, and my job takes a lot out of me physically and emotionally. I hate to remind people since I try to be superwoman, but I do have a chronic illness that requires more rest than healthy people, and I work my ass off to keep up with the rest of the world. If you're able to do it, kudos to you. I'm very happy for you, I have a lot of respect for you, and I wish I had the energy you have. But again, this is the hand I am dealt, and I'm honestly trying the hardest I can. I love my dogs and can't imagine life without them. But no one else is paying my bills, unfortunately I can't take time off from work to train 3 pit bulls as much as I'd like. But I DO train them. Heaven is very obediant, so I must be doing something right. Koa is obediant, albeit stubborn. Nala is a ball of nerves, but I'm TRYING as hard as I can. I only ask that you gear your suggestions to things I can do at home in my spare time.

Sometimes you folks forget who is most important in life. It isn't the dogs, house, job, spouse it's YOU. If you aren't running @ 100% then everything else suffers. Some folks (including myself) should take some time and better ourselves instead of worrying about things that we already subconciously control.
Maybe folks that live by themselves, work 40+ hours a week shouldn't have 3 dogs. I commend folks that rescue suffering animals but a suffering human is a much more serious issue. Now before I get slammed here for the "shouldn't have 3 dogs" comment I want to make sure you realize I meant no disrespect. Sometimes common sense is lost when feelings and puppy eyes are involved.

 

[yungster]

James, I agree with you 100%. I said shortly after I got Nala that I bit off more than I could chew. I admittedly made a mistake in thinking I had the time for another puppy. I never bargained for an unhealthy puppy with so many temperament issues. I don't know how to deal with issues like this, I've never owned an unstable dog. These are things I didn't think about because I was aching so badly for a puppy. I thought it would fill a void, but it only added to my plate of growing problems. I don't feel I should make any excuses for myself, as if that makes it okay, because it doesn't. I am not being my usual overly-defensive self, because I am quite humbled in my poor choices, and know that I am the only one to blame here. No, I didn't cause Nala's fear problem, but I brought it upon myself when I chose to rescue another dog I didn't have time for. It was a selfish decision. What's done is done... I made a mistake, and now I have to deal with the consequences. As I read my replies throughout this thread, I am thinking the same thing as most of you, who are just too nice to say it. I probably shouldn't own any dogs. They are suffering, not outwardly, but will in the long run, because I can't give 100%.

Oh how I wish I could just snap my fingers and make it all better. I wish I had the time and energy to give them what they deserve. I am in tears over this, and have been for quite some time. I realize I am failing miserably, though I am constantly wanting to try harder. But God I am just so exhausted.

I don't know Nala's fate. Sometimes I think I should re-home her with someone who is more experienced with special needs. Sometimes I think I should surrender Koa to his breeder because he has grown to be more than I can physically handle. I'm unable to crate him because he is stronger than me. No matter how hard I try, I haven't been able to do something as simple as putting him in a cage. When I got him, I thought he would grow up to look like Heaven, under 45-50 pounds. I wasn't counting on this 70-pound horse of a dog! He has accidentally given me a concussion, I think that's a sign I'm not able to handle a dog this size. Yet because I was lonely, I went and got another puppy.. wanting something to mother, something to make me feel needed. And now I've created a huge mess and I don't know what to do.

 

[Bremner53]

Well... I think you need to take care of yourself. You need to get to the point where you are not constantly stressing out. I don't know how to get there with out rehoming Nala and Koa, but I really hope there is a way. For Nala, I don't know what you can do, other then what all other pp's have suggested, if you don't think you can handle it, then try and find a home for her. Soon, before she gets worse, its a tough decision, but its one that needs to be made. As for Koa, he has grown up a whole bunch, but thats why training as a puppy is so important. I've seen a small lady handle a friggin monster dog, and she don't back down (Lisa/Rosco). Its to late to even bother bringing that up. But I really hope you can figure out something. Its not fair to you, the dogs, or your son for you to be stressed.

 

[yungster]

Well... I think you need to take care of yourself. You need to get to the point where you are not constantly stressing out. I don't know how to get there with out rehoming Nala and Koa, but I really hope there is a way. For Nala, I don't know what you can do, other then what all other pp's have suggested, if you don't think you can handle it, then try and find a home for her. Soon, before she gets worse, its a tough decision, but its one that needs to be made. As for Koa, he has grown up a whole bunch, but thats why training as a puppy is so important. I've seen a small lady handle a friggin monster dog, and she don't back down (Lisa/Rosco). Its to late to even bother bringing that up. But I really hope you can figure out something. Its not fair to you, the dogs, or your son for you to be stressed.

Thanks, Megan. Oh you're right about Lisa!! But she's pretty much a pro, at least compared to me. I don't know her past, and maybe she has something to add. I don't know if Rosco is her first dog or first AB, or how she got to know her stuff so well. Lisa, if you're reading this, were you raised around large dogs? Were you already very familiar with this breed before you got Rosco? I am obviously a very inexperienced handler. I had dogs all my life, but of course my parents handled them most of the time. The only dog that was "mine" was a small cocker spaniel, and a toy fox terrier/chihuahua mix. Heaven unexpectedly dropped in my lap. I was at the pound on a mission for a rescue group when the shelter worker handed Heaven to me. I was suckered into rescuing her, thinking she was a "boxer mix"... Once I discovered she was actually a pit bull mix, and was so impressed with her intelligence, I bought Koa expecting him to be just like her. Not the case!!! Heaven and Koa are like night and day. But it was still do-able, you know, while he was younger. I had training issues with Koa, but we got through it, it just took longer. How the heck I came to think I could take on one more puppy... I have no idea. Puppies make me stupid.

 

[LSCKitty]

If you put as much time into your dogs and you did this post ... well, you would be farther along in the training then you are now.
My personal opinion - you admit you bit of more then you can chew, and you keep saying how you don't have time for this or that ... get rid of a dog. Don't try to be superwomen.

 

[yungster]

AHHH! OMG, I just saw your banner.... CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Oh I must have missed a thread somewhere!!!

 

[PaulaEdwina]

James, I agree with you 100%. I said shortly after I got Nala that I bit off more than I could chew. I admittedly made a mistake in thinking I had the time for another puppy. I never bargained for an unhealthy puppy with so many temperament issues. I don't know how to deal with issues like this, I've never owned an unstable dog. These are things I didn't think about because I was aching so badly for a puppy. I thought it would fill a void, but it only added to my plate of growing problems. I don't feel I should make any excuses for myself, as if that makes it okay, because it doesn't. I am not being my usual overly-defensive self, because I am quite humbled in my poor choices, and know that I am the only one to blame here. No, I didn't cause Nala's fear problem, but I brought it upon myself when I chose to rescue another dog I didn't have time for. It was a selfish decision. What's done is done... I made a mistake, and now I have to deal with the consequences. As I read my replies throughout this thread, I am thinking the same thing as most of you, who are just too nice to say it. I probably shouldn't own any dogs. They are suffering, not outwardly, but will in the long run, because I can't give 100%.

Oh how I wish I could just snap my fingers and make it all better. I wish I had the time and energy to give them what they deserve. I am in tears over this, and have been for quite some time. I realize I am failing miserably, though I am constantly wanting to try harder. But God I am just so exhausted.

I don't know Nala's fate. Sometimes I think I should re-home her with someone who is more experienced with special needs. Sometimes I think I should surrender Koa to his breeder because he has grown to be more than I can physically handle. I'm unable to crate him because he is stronger than me. No matter how hard I try, I haven't been able to do something as simple as putting him in a cage. When I got him, I thought he would grow up to look like Heaven, under 45-50 pounds. I wasn't counting on this 70-pound horse of a dog! He has accidentally given me a concussion, I think that's a sign I'm not able to handle a dog this size. Yet because I was lonely, I went and got another puppy.. wanting something to mother, something to make me feel needed. And now I've created a huge mess and I don't know what to do.

You get credit for being self aware and understanding what motivated your acquiring a third dog. A puppy no less.

You are only human and you were going through a thing and had needs that you thought could be met in this puppy.

I think, frankly, if you are pressed for time, which it really sounds like, you are not really in a position to take on the needs of a puppy, far less a puppy with extra requirements. No matter how good your intentions or how good your heart is you are likely to end up with a grown dog that is not what you want in your house and around your kid.

It takes courage to face that you might not have made a good decision, and it takes courage to try to fix it.

I have a feeling, that guilt aside, if you rehome this puppy you will feel so relieved. You probably don't even realize how much pressure you're under right now.

Here's what I'm thinking - rehome the puppy but keep your two dogs. They're going to be all kinds of mental health to you through this transition. Besides, you risk making the move to deprive yourself of your companion pets out of some kind of self punishment. So I wouldn't be making those kinds of decisions now.

JMO
Paula

 

[yungster]

If you put as much time into your dogs and you did this post ... well, you would be farther along in the training then you are now.
My personal opinion - you admit you bit of more then you can chew, and you keep saying how you don't have time for this or that ... get rid of a dog. Don't try to be superwomen.

I understand what you're trying to say... It does take a little more time, effort and energy to train a dog than it does typing out a reply in 5 min... but I get your point. I was just canceled till 11pm, so now I have some unexpected free time before I have to go to work. (They will probably cancel me the whole night though, the hospital is deathly quiet.) I am going to use some of this extra time to work with Nala.

I just feel that "getting rid of" a dog is taking the easy way out. I don't give up that easily, or I would have gotten rid of her 3 mos ago when she bit me. I'm not sure I can live with that decision today, but it's something I am forced to think about at this point. I got myself into this, I want to be able to get myself out of this. If re-homing 1 or 2 of my dogs is the final solution, I will take that into consideration. Right now I am trying to manage my time and see if I can't just make this work.

 

[yungster]

Paula, thank you so kindly. I will be thinking this over. I appreciate your words so much.

 

[msvette2u]

If you put as much time into your dogs and you did this post ... well, you would be farther along in the training then you are now.

Good post!!
You know, Luvabull, I directed you to a forum that would really give you some help and great advice (not things like BITE your dog, although I haven't seen that advice in THIS thread!! :lol: ) Well, you must have declined because I haven't seen you on it.
It sounds like you just want someone to pat you on the back and tell you how awful it must be, well BS. It's awful for your DOG.
The point of the leash training is not to get the dog to LIKE IT. The dog won't fight it long, trust me. I HAD a dog JUST like you describe here, we could not CATCH her, she ran from us. Well, I leashed her to us and it took mere DAYS for her to calm down and come back when we called her. DAYS. Do you not have that kind of time, you could get up off the computer and leash her to you and go walk around for a bit???
She's GOING to fight it, but she will quickly stop. I've had dozens of fosters through here, we own 5 of our own dogs, I know from what I speak. All puppies freak out over a leash. CODDLING THEM is not the solution.

 

[yungster]

If you put as much time into your dogs and you did this post ... well, you would be farther along in the training then you are now.

Good post!!
You know, Luvabull, I directed you to a forum that would really give you some help and great advice (not things like BITE your dog, although I haven't seen that advice in THIS thread!! :lol: ) Well, you must have declined because I haven't seen you on it.
It sounds like you just want someone to pat you on the back and tell you how awful it must be, well BS. It's awful for your DOG.
The point of the leash training is not to get the dog to LIKE IT. The dog won't fight it long, trust me. I HAD a dog JUST like you describe here, we could not CATCH her, she ran from us. Well, I leashed her to us and it took mere DAYS for her to calm down and come back when we called her. DAYS. Do you not have that kind of time, you could get up off the computer and leash her to you and go walk around for a bit???
She's GOING to fight it, but she will quickly stop. I've had dozens of fosters through here, we own 5 of our own dogs, I know from what I speak. All puppies freak out over a leash. CODDLING THEM is not the solution.

msvette, who said I coddled her? Not sure where you go that. I only said it would take some time for her to stop fighting the leash, and it wasn't going to happen overnight. She will get it in time... with lots of positive training. I am distracting her with food while I put her on a leash. She is so mesmerized by that treat, she barely notices I've leashed her! :lol:

I'm sorry I have not had time to visit your other forum. I moderate this one, and it is against the forum rules to promote other dog forums. I have a loyalty here, and this is my little extended family. I barely have time to moderate this one, let alone add another to the mix. I feel I have received some great advice here, and everyone has added something that I find useful. I have been very respectful to you, and to everyone who has offered advice. I am receiving a lot of encouragement, which comes in many forms. You all are helping me make some decisions, whether you say it nicely or say it bluntly. I'm an adult, and I've had taken much stronger punches than that, take my word for it.

I don't need anyone to pat me on the back, because more awful things are happening in this world besides Trina's pit bull problem. I had a 44 yr old patient last night with stage 4 ovarian cancer with mets to the lung, and they still hadn't told her yet. She's terminal, and her teenage children will be losing their mom soon. That puts my life into perspective. The fact that I have a timid puppy isn't ranking too high on the totem pole of life right now, but no matter, it's still causing additional stress and worry. This is my place to seek out advice and also vent my feelings and frustrations. If you have something to add, that's great. I appreciate it. If you want to bash me, have a ball. I will learn from it. I can't control how others perceive me. I only know that I have some issues to deal with at home, and I'm taking it one day at a time. Not everyone is going to agree with me. I don't agree with all of you all the time either. I'm not trying to make friends right now, I'm trying to see if I can still work things out with a fearful dog. That's it.

And fun's over... work just called and they need me. Have a good night, y'all.

 

[yungster]

PS: I find it quite funny that you tell me to get off the computer and train my dog, yet chastize me for not visiting the new forum! :lol: You gotta admit, that was a bit contradicting!