[MrShelly]

I was thinking about buying a new dog as its been around 5 years since I owned my last.

Unfortunately, the one thing that stops me and has stopped me for the last year or so was the circumstances in which my last dog, Shelly, died.

She must have been around 12 years old, and I was downstairs in the living room and she was hovering around me, I remember her breathing sounding hoarse but I thought it was just a fur ball. I gave her some water and went upstairs to use the computer.

As I was on the computer I heard an almighty yelp, but it sounded like it came from outside and I though no more of it. I maybe considered for a slight second that it could be Shelly but dismissed it as paranoia, but looking back perhaps it was just denial, in the same way I thought the yelp came from outside.

30 mins later my mum returned with her friend and I heard a commotion downstairs, then I knew what it was, as I went downstairs I thought Shelly had maybe had a fit or something, as she had passed out once or twice before(my mum hadnt mentioned it as she didnt want me to worry). But, she was dead....

I went upstairs and cried a little, I was upset(obviouusly) but appreciated that she had lived a good few years, maybe even longer than 12 years as we didnt get her as a pup so its possible she was 13-14, which is a decent dog age. She was loving and had been well loved by the entire family although she was always "my dog". I didnt think about it till after her death but despite her age, in the morning I would always call her by saying "c'mon puppy", even though in dog years she was about 50.

Anyway..

I went downstairs and was speaking about it with my mum, and she told me that when she came home Shelly was still alive, so she didnt pass away until someone was there with her. Thats what really got me, there was a 30 minute gap from the yelp till my mum returned, and Shelly was alive all that time, perhaps waiting for me to go see her.

I couldnt even speak, I went back upstairs and was distraught, apologising to Shelly over and over again for not being there.

I know I couldnt possibly have known but im still racked with guilt. Even now 5 years on im still almost in tears, perhaps it isnt time for another dog yet.

I like to remember her but its difficult as the memories invariably lead to thinking about her death, and maybe that part of the problem, I havent fully let go or stopped kicking myself yet.

In all honesty as I cant speak about it without choking up this is the first time ive mentioned it since around the time it happened.

So while I miss the loyalty and companionship, I dont think I could go through that heart ache again.

 

[BanterBull]

Did you every consider that maybe getting another puppy might help you get past the mourning period caused by Shelly's death? Maybe that's what you need for some closure. There was nothing you can do now to change what happened 5 years ago. Forgive yourself, I'm sure Shelly did a long time ago. Good luck with this dilemma. And, we all understand if you still truly are not ready.

~S

 

[Kate]

My heart breaks for you. Thats a tragic story but it must of been her time and boy did she live a long life! But don't blame yourself, I think that is what is getting you theworse.

Just a thought of hope, my aunt tragically lost her doberman to cancer and was torn to pieces. Told our family not to contact her until she contacted us because she was too upset to talk to anyone. About 5 months later she finally got the courage to just go look at other dogs, knowing that it would be a while before she got another, maybe even a few years. Well that one time of looking she realized she found the dog she wanted and ended up getting a German Shepard puppy. Even though she still misses Savanah deeply, Katrina has filled that void in her heart that she honestly (like you) never thought would be able to be filled.

Do what you think is best for you, but never be afraid to go look!

 

[mom to many]

((HUGS)) to you...I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't beat yourself up...you were a good and loyal owner. Looking back, it's always easy to say what you would do differently...we ALL experince that sometime in our lives. I truly believe Shelley wouldn't want you looking back at your time together with anything but happiness and love in your heart.

Whether or not it's time to get another dog is up to you. You could start slowly...visit shelters and rescues and see if there's one out there that 'speaks' to you. Do some research about which breed would be best for you...just start thinking about dogs again.

You gave Shelley a long and happy life...don't think of it any other way

 

[MrShelly]

Thanks for the kind words.

I always thought of getting a new dog because I enjoy their company and stuff, I didnt really consider that getting another dog may help me get over Shelly, so thanks for that. I think I may have a look at the local kennels and feel things out.

I hadnt thought about it for a while but a friend of a friend got a new dog which he brought to my house. And after stroking it once it was like my best friend for the next 2 hours, following me everywhere and bringing its toy to me. So thats what brought up this stuff again.

I spoke with it at the time to a friend but he isnt really an animal person, im sure he sees it as "just a dog" and not worth crying over. I remember when I told him she had died and his first words were, "so, when are you buying a new one". So I appreciate the time taken to type back to me, its good to be able to speak to some people who can at least comprehend what I was/am going through, and offer some much needed advice.

 

[MrShelly]

I almost forgot, at the time of Shellys death, I was working as an agency temp in a call centre. And when she died I was off work for 3-4 days(obviously being upset), no more than that though. And when I went back to work my boss couldnt understand me being off for so long over a dog, he conceded that 1 day was okay as I had found her dead shortly before I was due to start work, but 4 days was too much, and then fired me.
:shock:
That happened on valentines day 2002. I managed to get a proper contract a few months later but recently became unwell(migraines)and they fired me again(which I will sue them for), and that happened on February 15th 2006, wierd eh? I guess another reason why I seem to be thinking of dogs so much.

Honestly, im sure my life would make a good country music song. The good thing is if I get a dog now ill have the time to care for it.

 

[Tinkerbell]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it is like to lose a beloved pet... Our little girl Tinkerbell has only been gone about a month and a week. It hurts so bad, I know... I still mourn the loss of the animals I had previously, but you know what? There were so many before Tinkerbell, because I needed them, just as much as they needed me... So while it hurts to beat the devil that they are gone, I know that the place they left, is a place to take in another who needs me...and it usually turns out that I needed them too... Things happen for a reason... Remember that your girl will always be with you, and when you are ready for another dog, you wont be replacing her, but helping another to know the love and securtiy of a forever home, that your Shelly knew... You just never know... she may come back to you in a different form...

I know you don't know me from joe, but if you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to PM me...



~Sara

 

[MrShelly]

Thanks very much for that Sara and sorry to hear of your loss too. 5 weeks is a very hard time as everything is still so raw. I remember crying so much I couldnt even see when I was putting shellys bowl and lead away shortly after her death.

Ive been trying hard to think of the good times without 'the end' creeping into it, and when I do I guess the latter does seem like a small part of it. When I returned from work she would always run up to me and place her jaws around my forearm and lead me into the house, not hard enough to even leave a mark but almost telling me to hurry up, so thinking of things like that bring a smile to my face.

Its always good to hear a different slant on things, helps make things a little easier by looking at it from a different view point.

There have certainly been a lot of coincidences recently that parallel what happened at the time of her death and maybe that should be taken as a sign to start looking for another dog.

Thanks for the offer for someone to speak to as well Sara, that helps a lot. I cant really speak to anyone in depth about it without getting choked up, so its nice to know ive someone to type to. In all honesty I guess im a bit embarassed about it, Shelly did die 5 years ago after all and im a big bloke so I suppose I fell a tad sheepish about having not moved on. I suppose not being able to speak about it(first time ive told this story in 5 years)and the guilt caused me to supress how I was feeling and I never really got over it.

But, after reading everyones replies im feeling much better than I did earlier today and am actually feeling a tinge of excitement at the thought of having a new dog. Kennels first though, ill have a visit and see what happens, cause I know ill see a dog that looks just like Shelly, that will be the test.

 

[ALPHAMALE]

shelly would wnat you to be happy and if a new little bundel of joy can do this for you i say it's time ...i knwo when star passed i took some time for me but when i desided to do it it was the best thing for me ! i know shes looking down and wagging her tail when she sees me happy ! :wink: