Most dogs do fine with having their ears cleaned. However, especially the dogs whose ears are already raw & infected, some don't appreciate your helping out at all.
Start off with just getting her used to having her ears rubbed & massaged. Offer her treats while you do this. Once you feel the time is right to try some cleaning, start off with just a dry cotton ball & swab the inside of her ear out. Keep this up & when she allows you to do this with no fuss, buy a reputable brand ear cleaner (you can make your own 1/2 Winter Green Alcohol + 1/2 White Vinegar.....however, many dogs don't like the smell of the alcohol & if the dog has a raw/infected ear already, the alcohol will burn). Pour the soluntion onto the cotton balls......I like to have everything set out & ready beforehand. Then, take the wet cotton ball & place inside the ear. Lower the ear flap & massage. Then remove that cotton ball, repeat if needed, & then dry the ear with dry cotton balls. Although a dog's ear canal is not shaped like ours, I don't suggest using q-tips especially with an already nervy animal. Even if you can't get deep into the ear with a cotton ball, the purpose of the cleaner is to bring all the crud up to the surface so the next day you can clean out more.
Good luck!
And btw, you only want to clean the ears out once every week to 2 weeks. If the dog is prone to ear infections, 1-2 times a week is idea.